A Time for Tears
by ElieLea
Summary: Mac's mother is dying and Harm helps her cope. new ch. now posted!
1. Chapter 1

Title: A Time For Tears

Author: Bail's Other Daughter

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG or its characters, nor do I own ATA airlines or St. Vincent's hospital.

Note: This was the first fan fiction I wrote and is still the one closest to my heart. I was reading through it and realized that it could use some major help, so I decided to rewrite it and post it a chapter at a time. It is finished and I will try to post a chapter either every day or every other day. The plot is the same as are some of the scenes, but many things have been changed- including the setting for the first few chapters and a couple of the names. Enjoy and review please! J

Chapter 1

1835 EST

MAC'S APARTMENT

GEORGETOWN DC

The telephone rang out just as Colonel Sarah MacKenzie stepped inside her apartment. She set down her briefcase and walked to the phone.

"MacKenzie."

"Sarah MacKenzie?" the voice on the other line said.

"Yes…"

"Ma'am, this is Doctor Williams as St. Vincent's hospital in Indianapolis. Your mother is a patient here and…. Well, she requested that I call you."

"My mother?" Mac asked.

"Deanne MacKenzie?" When the doctor received no reply, he continued. "She's not doing well. If you want to see her, you should come immediately."

"What exactly is wrong with her, Doctor?"

"Cancer, I'm afraid. She's put up a good fight. We've done all we can for her."

"Cancer?" Mac whispered.

The Doctor took a deep breath. "Yes. It has spread to most of her vital organs. She only has days left."

"Doctor, you should probably know that I haven't even spoken to my mother in over four years."

"Yes, I know," Doctor Williams replied. "Your mother has told me all about her past…. And about you. She wants to see you so badly."

Mac sighed softly. She had been too late for her father and she didn't want to make that mistake again. Finally, she spoke. "Doctor, where are you located? I'll try to catch the next flight out"……

1900 EST

HARM'S APARTMENT

NORTH OF UNION STATION

"Mattie, what's burning?" Harm yelled from the bathroom.

"Nothing, Harm. It's called fried rice," Mattie yelled back.

"Fried? Are you sure it isn't scorched?" Harm replied as he came out of the bathroom rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

"Chill, Harm, everything's cool. Just sit down and relax until it's ready."

Harm slowly nodded his head and hoped he hadn't made a mistake by allowing Mattie to cook dinner. He picked up his guitar and started to walk to the sofa when he heard a knock at the door.

"Mac?" Harm said, opening the door. "Hey, come on in. I would invite you to stay for dinner, but I'm not sure you're going to want to eat it."

"I heard that!" Mattie yelled from the kitchen. Harm smiled.

"Thanks anyway, but this isn't exactly a social visit," Mac said.

"Yeah, what's up?" Harm asked.

"I'm going away…"

"Where have I heard this before?" Harm said with a laugh then suddenly turned serious. "It's not Webb again is it? You know what happened last time," he added.

"No, it's not Clay," Mac said. "It's my mother."

"Your mother?"  
Mac nodded her head and sighed. "My flight leaved in an hour. I just came by to let you know where I would be."

"What about your mother, Mac?" Harm asked.

"She's in a hospital in Indianapolis. She's dying, Harm. Cancer."

"I'm so sorry," he said, reaching out to touch her arm.

"I know," Mac frowned. "I have to go," she added as she turned around and began to walk away.

"Wait, Mac," Harm said as he grabbed her by the elbow. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I'll be fine. I can do this alone," she said, shoving a piece of paper into his hand. "Here's my flight number and the hotel's phone number."

"Call me if you need anything," Harm told her as she stepped out the door.

Mac nodded and turned to walk down the stairs. She ran down the steps, mumbling curses the whole way. "Why do I always do this to myself?" she thought. She always had to be strong and brave; never letting anyone help her or get too close.

She paused as she reached her car and looked back up at Harm's apartment window. What she really wanted to do was run back up to him and tell him to come with her. She shook her head and climbed into the car. "I can do this," she whispered as she pulled out onto the street.

ATA AIRLINE FLIGHT 33-

DC TO INDIANAPOLIS

Mac's body shook in her seat as the plane hit an air pocket. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around the plane. For a moment she almost forgot where she was, but soon recalled the past few hours. She raised her head off the back of her seat and glanced down at her watch. There was only ten minutes or so left of the flight. Slowly, she eased her head back onto the headrest; her thoughts on her mother.

"Attention passengers," a voice said over the intercom. "We will soon be landing at Indianapolis International. Please return to your seats , fasten your safety belts and remain seated until the plane has landed. And as always, thank you for flying ATA."

Mac lifted her head up once more to fasten her belt and to prepare for landing. As the plane touched down, her heart began to race as she thought about seeing her mother again. "What am I going to say to her?" she thought.

The stewardess interrupted her thoughts. "Ma'am, do you need any help with your carry-on?"

"No, thank you. I can manage," Mac replied, standing, grabbing her case and proceeding to the plane's rear exit.

INDIANAPOLIS INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA

"Hey, taxi!" Mac yelled to a cab across the drive. She had managed to successfully retrieve her luggage from the conveyer and was now trying to find some transportation to the hospital. "Hey!" she said again, tapping on the taxi's passenger window. The driver let the window down and leaned over in his seat so he could see her.

"Can I get a ride?" she asked, leaning into the car's window.

"Lady, you're in luck," replied the driver as he stepped out the car and rushed to help her get her bags into the car.

"Thanks," she said, settling into the back seat.

"Where to?" the driver asked, resuming his spot behind the wheel.

"86th Street."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Mac sighed deeply as the cab stopped in front of a Marriott hotel, not far from the hospital.

"Please wait," she told the driver as she opened the car door and pushed her bag out onto the pavement. Lugging her suitcase, Mac entered the building, stumbled up to the front desk and rang the bell.

"How can I help you, Ma'am?" the clerk asked as he sprinted behind the desk.

"Colonel Sarah MacKenzie," she said. "I made a reservation just a few hours ago. Is my room ready?"

"Yes, ma'am, umm……" the clerk said as he typed something into the computer. "….Room 223."

"Would you mind having my bag taken up, then?" Mac interjected. "I'm in a terrible hurry."  
"Sure, ma'am, no problem," he responded.

"I'll be back later tonight, thanks!" Mac said as headed for the door.

"Ma'am wait!" the clerk called. Mac spun around to see him holding up a plastic card. "Wouldn't you like your key?"

"Oh, yes. Thank you," she said as she grabbing the key and rushing out the door.

"Great!" Mac mumbled under her breath as she stepped out of the cab into the pouring rain. "Just what I need." She darted into the hospital's side entrance and looked around for a nurse's station. Mac took a deep breath as she smoothed her hair and tried to gain her composure. Cautiously, she approached the desk.

"I'm looking for Deanne MacKenzie," Mac told the nurse.

"MacKenzie…." the nurse repeated, entering the name into her computer. "Ah, yes, here we are. Room 216. Follow me please," she added. Mac turned and followed the dark haired woman down the wide hallway. She stopped in front of a set of elevators and pointed to the one nearest her. "Go up to the second floor. Room 216 is the seventh door on the right."

"Thank you," Mac said, stepping into the elevator and pushing the button for the second floor.

Mac's boots clipped on the hard floor as she walked down the hall to room 216. The closer she got to the room, the faster her heart began to beat. She laid her hand on the door knob and quietly began to push the door open. As she did so, a doctor burst out of the room and ran smack into her.

"Oomph." Mac's hands flew out to her sides, trying to keep herself from falling.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," the doctor said, helping to steady her. "I didn't expect someone to be on the other side of that door."

"It's okay," Mac said, placing a hand on her chest and leaning back against the wall.

"Are you lost?" the doctor asked.

"No, I'm here to see my mother," Mac replied.

"Are you Sarah MacKenzie?"

"Yes."

"We spoke on the phone earlier. I'm Doctor Williams," he said, extending his hand.

Mac returned the gesture, grasping his hand firmly in her own. "Yes, Doctor," Mac said. "How is she?"

"She's doing a little better than earlier today. She's actually stable for the moment. I think she might even make it through the weekend," he informed her. "Come with me," he added, gesturing for her to follow into the room.

Mac took a deep breath and followed him through the door. "God, give me strength," she thought.

"Deanne," Dr. Williams said, walking to the far side of the room. "There's someone here to see you." The woman lying in the bed was pale and thin. Her skin was almost so translucent you could see right through it and her breathing was slow and raspy. This was not at all the woman Mac remembered seeing four years ago in California. At the sound of Dr. William's voice, she turned her head toward Mac, squinting in the dim light.

"Sarah?" she whispered, bringing her hand to her mouth.

"I'm here, Mom," Mac said, walking closer to the bed.

"Thank God," Deanne said softly, gesturing to the chair at her bedside. "Come here, honey."

With this Dr. Williams turned and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

Mac cautiously walked up to the chair and sat down. "I came as soon as I heard," she said. "I was too late for Dad and I….." her voice trailed off.

Deanne smiled slightly. "Thank you." She took a deep. "I need to tell you something." As she spoke, she tugged Mac down so her face was close to hers and grasped her hand lightly. "I'm sorry," Deanne whispered, barely audible. "I'm so sorry," she repeated. "I should have never abandoned you when you. I know I did a lot to hurt you. Forgive me?" she asked.

"You know I do." Mac smiled slightly at her mother, trying hard to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. This was now the second time she had said these words to this woman and it was not in any way getting easier.

The two women stared silently at each other for what seemed like an eternity before Deanne's eyes drifted shut and she fell into a light sleep. Mac smiled down at her mother, then rose from her seat. "Rest, Mom," she whispered, squeezing Deanna's hand then placing it back at her side. Quietly, she turned and began making her way to the door.

"Sarah….."

Mac stopped at the sound of her name and turned back towards her mother.

"I…. I love you," Deanne said, her eyes closing once again.

Mac nodded her head in reply then continued walking. She let out a long sigh as she closed the door behind her, then rubbed her tired eyes, ran her fingers through her hair and walked to the elevator.

Mac stood outside her hotel room fumbling through her purse trying to find the key. "I know I put it in here," she mumbled. "Ah, there it is," she said, grasping the plastic card key, yanking it from her purse and running it through the electronic lock.

She stepped into the room, quickly flipping on the light switch and bolting the door. She unzipped her suitcase , pulled out an oversized t- shirt, plaid boxer shorts, and some toiletries and made her way to the bathroom. Putting her jacket on the toilet, she slipped her blouse and slacks off and threw them on the floor. She splashed a handful of cold water on her face, then put on her pajamas while shoving a toothbrush into her mouth.

Finished, Mac threw her clothes on a chair, turned off the light and crawled into the comfort of the cool sheets. She closed her eyes, but sleep did not come. She rolled onto her side and stared across at the blank wall. "Harm," she whispered into the darkness. Forcing out a heavy breath, she turned and flipped on the television. The lights of the shows flashed, burning into her mind. Finally, her eyes fell shut and she drifted into a restless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

See chapter 1 for disclaimer and other info.

Here's the second part as promised… mushier H & M stuff to come. ;)

0957 EST

MARRIOTT HOTEL

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA

Sarah MacKenzie awoke to the sound of someone rapping on the door of her hotel room. She slowly lifted her eye lids to see the flash of the television lights. "Uh," she mumbled as she lifted her head from the pillow, flipping off the television with the remote. Again a knock on the door, only louder this time. "Just a minute," she yelled in the general direction of the door. Reluctantly, she crawled out from under the warm sheets and set her feet on the carpet. Grabbing her jacket from the chair, Mac slipped it on over her pajamas and pulled the door open.

"Oh, Ma'am, I'm so sorry…." said the teenager standing in the hallway. "I was just going to change the sheets and wanted to make sure no one was still in the room." Her face turned a bright shade of red as she spoke and her voice cracked a bit. "I didn't mean to wake you. It's just my first day," she added, hanging her head.

"That's okay," Mac said, trying to make the young girl feel better. "I needed to get up anyway." The girl looked up at Mac and smiled slightly.

"If you come back in about thirty minutes, I'll be out of your hair," Mac replied with a smile.

"Thank you, Ma'am," the teen replied as she turned and began to push her cart down the hall.

Mac closed the door and pulled her cell phone out of her jacket pocket. She blinked several times to clear the haze from her eyes and looked at the time on the phone. "10:00!" she said aloud. For the first time, her internal clock seemed to be off.

She pulled her jacket off, threw it on the unmade bed, went to the suitcase and began throwing her clothes onto the sofa.

"Hello….. Information?" she said as she dialed a number on her cell phone. "I need the number of a cab company. Indianapolis." A voice mumbled something in reply to Mac's request and connected her to the company. "Yes, can you please send a cab to the Marriott North?" Mac said to the man on the other end of the line. He mumbled an affirmative and Mac added, "Please hurry." She then picked up some jeans and a shirt off the sofa and ran to take a shower.

Returning from the bathroom only 15 minutes later, clean and dressed, Mac once again picked up her jacket and purse and dashed out the door to the elevator.

Mac was combing her still damp hair as the cab pulled in front of the hospice. After paying the driver, she took a deep breath and walked inside. Stepping into the elevator, she tried to steady her shaking hands as she pressed the button for the second floor. "Maybe I should have eaten something," she thought. As she walked out of the elevator and approached room 216, she began to feel her stomach gurgle. She opened the door quietly so as not to disturb her mother if she was sleeping. The room was empty, though; the bed was made and all of the life support equipment had been removed. Hearing footsteps behind her, she turned to see Dr. Williams standing in the doorway.

"Has she been moved?" Mac asked, approaching the doctor.

Dr. Williams shook his head. "I'm sorry, Miss MacKenzie. Your mother passed away just after three o' clock this morning."

Mac furrowed her eyebrows. "No." She shook her head. "Last night you said she would make it through the weekend."

"That was a possibility, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to give you any false hopes. Her lungs collapsed this morning and she went into cardiac arrest. We couldn't revive her."

Mac's eyesight blurred with unshed tears. "But, I didn't even…. This can't be happening again…" Mac's knees gave out mid sentence and she fell into the Doctor's arms.

"Miss MacKenzie? Sarah?" Mac opened her eyes at the sound of her first name. She was lying on a sofa in the waiting room of the hospital; Dr. Williams was sitting across from her on a coffee table. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm fine," she said. "What happened?"

"You fainted," Dr. Williams replied as Mac began to stand up. "I wouldn't do that too quickly if I were you," he said, laying a hand on her arm. "You'd better stay seated for a few minutes."

"I can't remember the last time I fainted," Mac commented, easing back onto the sofa.

"Well, considering my many years of experience, I'd say either a- your body's in shock; b- your blood sugar is low; or c- you're pregnant."

Mac quickly looked up at him, smiling slightly. "Considering my own years of experience, Doctor, I can inform you that it is most certainly not option c."

He returned her smile. "I knew I'd get you with that one…. Just a little hospital humor, I'm afraid. When was the last time you ate?"

"Umm, 1100.…. Yesterday," she replied.

Dr. Williams rose from the sofa. "I'll get you some orange juice. Stay seated, I'll be right back."

Mac nodded silently and laid her head back on the sofa. Her thoughts drifted to her mother and tears suddenly welled up in her eyes. "Hold it together, Marine," she scolded herself and wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

Moments later, Dr. Williams appeared from around the corner carrying a bottle of juice and a straw.

"Thank you," Mac said, taking the bottle from him and taking a sip. He sat down beside her and she glanced over at him. "If you have patients to look after, I'll be fine," she told him.

"No, I'm good," he replied. "I'm off duty, getting ready to go home. I wanted to make sure you were okay first, though." He paused for a moment. "I really am sorry about your mother."

A lump formed in Mac's throat and she tried to swallow it with a gulp of juice. "How long did she…. Suffer?" she asked.

"Not long," he replied. "She came to us about a year ago after her doctor had found a tumor on her intestine. So, more tests were conducted and we found that the tumor was indeed malignant and that the cancer had also spread to her gallbladder, colon, and ovaries," he took a deep breath and began again. "She had surgery to remove the parts of the cancer that could be taken and then started chemotherapy. The surgery only destroyed about 15 of the cancer, though, and the portion left began to spread so rapidly, the chemotherapy couldn't do any good. So, she opted to quit the chemo and wait…."

"Wait to die," Mac finished for him.

Dr. Williams nodded. "Yes. I want you to know that your mother was only in pain for the last few weeks."

"That's good," Mac said, quietly.

"Is there anything else you wanted to know?" he asked.

Mac started to shake her head, but stopped. "Did anyone come to see her?"  
"Hmmm…" he said, thinking. "Come to think of it there was someone… A young woman. She only came once."

"Did you ever speak with her?" Mac asked interested in who this visitor was.

"Yes… briefly. I happened to run into her in the hallway. She asked me where she could find Deanna and I told her. I'm not sure who she was. Do you have any idea? One of your mother's friends perhaps?"  
"I wouldn't know… I never really knew my mother," she commented sadly.

"May be, but she spoke of you often."

Mac smiled slightly. "Well, Doctor, what do I need to do about funeral arrangements?" she asked, feeling her strength renewed- for the moment at least.

"I'm not sure. Why don't you come over to the desk and I'll have the receptionist fill you in," he said, helping her to her feet. Mac stood, with the doctor's help, and walked with him over to the nurse's station. She grasped the tall desk and balanced herself while the doctor informed the receptionist of the situation.

He then turned to Mac. "Maggie will give you all the necessary paperwork to fill out. I need to be getting home. It was a pleasure to meet you," he added, extending his hand.

"Thank you Doctor Williams," Mac said, grasping his hand in hers.

He smiled before retreating down the hallway.

1440 EST

MARIOTT HOTEL

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA

Mac closed the door of her hotel room and bolted it behind her. She walked to an end table in the front room of the suite, sat down the bag of food she was holding in her hand, and then went to the bathroom to wash up a bit. She had been at the hospital for three hours signing papers and getting things in order. She was exhausted.

Returning to the front room a few minutes later, Mac kicked off her shoes, flopped down on the sofa, picked up her burger and fries and began to eat. No matter how hard she tried, though, she couldn't manage to swallow one bite. She rubbed her tired eyes with her palm and a few small, hot tears escaped. Taking a deep breath and wiping the moisture from her cheeks, she picked up the remote lying on the table and flipped on the television. Just as she began to relax, the phone in the bedroom rang. She sighed and slowly pushed herself off the sofa.

"Hello?" she said, picking up the hotel phone.

"Mac? That you?"

"Yeah, Harm," she knew the voice on the other end all too well.

"Finally….. the hotel patched me in to two other rooms before finally getting me connected with you," Harm said. "I don't think the receptionist spoke English very well."

"Why didn't you call my cell?" Mac asked.

"I tried and it didn't work."

"It didn't?" she asked, taking the phone out of her pocket. She tried turning it on, but nothing happened. "Oh…." she said. "I guess I forgot to charge it."  
"How is you mom?" Harm asked. He was answered only by silence. "Mac?" he asked again.

"She's gone, Harm," she finally replied.

"Oh, Mac, I'm so sorry," Harm told her. "When? Did you get there in time?"  
"Yeah I got here…. She died early this morning."

"I'm sorry…" Harm said again.

"SAYING YOU'RE SORRY WILL NOT BRING HER BACK!" she yelled, a single tear falling from her eye.

Harm rested his head in his hand, pressing the phone closer to his ear. There was a long pause between them.

"Saying you're sorry won't bring her back," Mac finally spoke, quietly repeating what she had yelled before. She sighed as she sat back on the bed. "My dad said that to me after my mom left when I was fifteen….. Ironic the same words would come out of my mouth."

"Mac, I want to come out there," Harm said.

"No, I can take care of myself. I don't need you here," she said coolly. "I don't need anyone…." she said quietly, her voice cracking and the tears now streaming down her face. A quiet sob escaped into the receiver. "Oh, Harm," she whispered before slamming the phone back onto the nightstand.

HARM'S APARTMENT

NORTH OF UNION STATION

"Mac!" Harm called into the dead phone line, but it was no use. She had hung up on him. Told him she didn't need him; told him not to come. He quietly set down the phone, leaning his head back on his sofa and rubbing his face with his hands, thinking. Suddenly, he stood and walked out of his apartment and down the hall.

"Mattie, it's me," he called out as he knocked on the door. "Open up."

"Hello!" Mattie said as she opened the door. "What's wrong?" she asked as she saw the look on his face.

He stepped into the small apartment and closed the door behind him. "I just got off the phone with Mac," he said finally. "Her mom died this morning."

"Oh, I'm sorry."  
Harm nodded. "Listen, I'm going to go to Indy."

"She needs you," Mattie said.

Harm gave her a surprised look. "Yeah, I think so. Is Jennifer here?"

"Yes, sir, I'm here," Jen said as she stepped out of the bedroom. "I heard it all, Commander, and I think it's a very nice idea."

Harm smiled and began to open his mouth, but she interrupted him.

"I'd be happy to watch out for Mattie while you're gone," she said quickly.

Harm stared at her. "Thanks. I'm going to leave right away."

"Right, sir," Jen said, then added, "I can call the airlines for you if you need."

"That would be great. Thanks. If you don't mind, I'll go pack…. And call the Admiral, just in case I'm not back by Monday," Harm said as he turned and opened the door. "Be back in a few minutes," he called.

2010 EST

MARRIOTT HOTEL

INDIANAPOLIS, IN

Harm knocked again on the door of 223. 'Maybe she's asleep,' he thought. Slowly, the door opened and a shadowy figure appeared.

"Harm?" Mac asked, opening the door all the way. "Come on in," she said, sternly.

He stepped into the dark room and set down his suitcase, Mac shutting the door behind him. "I know you told me not to come," he said as his eyes were adjusting to the dim lighting. Suddenly, she came into view. She was standing only inches away from him: hands on her hips, her eyes red and swollen, her face pale.

He reached out and touched her shoulder. "I wanted to be with you, though," he said. Mac put a hand over her mouth and cautiously crossed the distance between them, leaning against his chest. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly.

"Thank you," Mac whispered, putting her arms around his middle. "I'm sorry about everything I said on the phone. I didn't mean it."

"I know," Harm replied. "It's a good thing I don't do what you tell me, MacKenzie," he added, softly.

She laughed lightly as her stomach rumbled.

"When was the last time you ate something?" Harm asked, still holding her, guiding her to the sofa.

"Lunch, yesterday," she said. "I tried to eat earlier, but I couldn't seem to get it down. How can I miss someone I didn't really know, Harm?" she whispered, her tears spilling down the front of his shirt.


	3. Chapter 3

Third part is here…. See ch. 1 for all disclaimer info. Lemme know what you think so far!

Mac opened her eyes and squinted to see the clock on top of the television. It read 7:30 am. She began to lift her head, but then realized something, no someone, was lying next to her. She turned her head slowly and found herself looking directly into the face of Harmon Rabb Jr. Suddenly the events of the night flooded back into her mind. Thoughts of her mother: of how she wished she could have spent more time with her; of how she wished she would have told her more. Regret, so much regret… Then she thought about Harm and how he had held her until she fell asleep.

She turned again to look at his face. She was lying next to him on the sofa, her head resting on his chest. One of his arms was wrapped under her and the other was draped across her waist. Mac quietly reached up and touched his cheek. As she did so, Harm's eyes burst open and he practically jumped off the sofa, taking Mac with him.

"Easy, flyboy," Mac said. At the sound of her voice, his body relaxed and he laid back down.

"Sorry," he said, looking over at her. "I forgot where I was for a minute."

Mac smiled slightly and turned her face away from his. "It's okay."

"How are you doing?" Harm asked.

"Okay….. Better," Mac replied. "Okay now that you're here," she whispered.

Harm squeezed her hand. "So you're not mad at me for coming then?"

"No. Maybe just a little scared," she whispered.

"Scared? Of what, Mac?"

"Scared because I actually need…." She paused.

"Someone," he finished for her.

She nodded. "And afraid that I'll…." A long time passed before she spoke again. "That I'll lose them," she whispered, pulling out of Harm's embrace and standing with her back to him.

Taking a deep breath, Harm slowly stood up and walked over to Mac. Gently, he put his hands on her shoulders, turning her towards him. She was crying… hard. He lifted his palm and wiped the tears from her cheek. "It's okay, Mac."

"No it's not," she said before closing the gap between them and pushing her face into his chest. "You were right when said I am a death trap for men… Dalton, Chris, Webb… everyone who comes into my life dies."

Harm cautiously wrapped his arms around her, lying his cheek on the top of her head. "Not me," he whispered. "I'm here." Mac mumbled something into his chest. He slowly stepped back a bit so he could hear her.

"I never told…. I never…." she was saying, tears still streaming down her face.

His eyebrows furrowed, Harm tilted her chin upwards so she would look at him.

She drew in a shaky breath. "I never.. Never told her I loved her." She looked into Harm's eyes. "She said she loved me and I didn't respond… didn't even look at her…" She choked back a sob. "I wanted her to know I loved her- if not for any other reason, just because she was my mother." She turned away from him again, putting a hand over her mouth as she did so.

Harm stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her once more. "You need to let go. You can't go back."

She shook out of his embrace, spinning around to look at him. "I can't let go," she spat out. "I…. needed to be honest just like I need you…." she got out before her knees buckled and she fell straight to the floor.

"Mac!" Harm yelled, dropping to the floor beside her. He checked her pulse before picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom, laying her carefully on the bed. He then ran to the bathroom, emerging seconds later with a damp cloth. Leaning over her, he dabbed her face, calling her name. "Mac. Mac, I need you to wake up for me." He took a deep breath. "Mac," he said, practically yelling. "Wake up!"

Startled, her eyes flittered open.

"Mac, can you hear me?" Harm yelled.

"Harm?" she mumbled, bringing a hand up to her head. "Why are you shouting?" she asked, quietly.

Harm smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. You scared me. You fainted, I think."

"Again?" she asked, lifting her body from the mattress.

He gave her a puzzled look. "You lay still," he said, pushing her back down on the bed. "I'm going to order us something to eat."

"But…" she began.

"No buts, Colonel."

She rolled her eyes, but laid her head back down on the pillow.

"Mac! Wake up," Harm said, gently stroking her forehead.

Slowly, her eyes opened. "It smells funny in here," she commented, looking around the room. "Smells like…"

"Ham, eggs, and fresh fruit," Harm interjected, handing her a plate of food and taking one for himself.

Mac set the plate in her lap, and took a bite of ham. She swallowed then took another bite. Then a bite of fruit. Suddenly, she stopped eating and set her fork down. "I think I'm going to be sick," she commented, putting a hand on her stomach.

Harm studied her for a moment. "No, you're not. It's just because you haven't eaten in so long. Eat slowly," he added, picking up her fork and holding it out to her.

She gave him a stern look.

He took a deep breath and pointed a finger at her. "MacKenzie, you are going to eat every last bit of that food even if I have to shove it down your throat myself," he ended, taking a seat on the other side of the bed.

Mac raised her eyebrows and took the fork from him. "Yes, sir," she mumbled, beginning to eat once again.

Neither one of them spoke again until both had cleaned their plates. "It's 0900," Mac said, leaning her head back. Her internal clock seemed to be back in service. "We should probably get going."

Harm glanced down at his watch. Nine o'clock, sure enough. He raised his eyebrows. "Remind me to make you tell me how you do that sometime," he said.

She snorted. "Never…. I told the hospital I'd come by and finish the paperwork this morning."

He nodded. "Mac, what were you starting to say earlier… right before you fainted."

She looked over at him. "I don't remember going to say anything…. Probably a lie…" she let out a slight chuckle.

"I'm serious, Mac," Harm said, not willing to drop the subject. "You said you needed to be honest with her like you need me to do something….. What?"  
She took a deep breath, suddenly remembering. "I need you to be honest with me…. Open with me."

"How am I not open?" he asked, defensively.

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

"This really isn't the time or place to discuss this. Is it?" he asked.

She shook her head. A moment of silence passed. "Harm. Thank you."

He raised his eyebrows. "For….?"

"Take... Taking care of me," she stammered. "I guess I do need help sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Harm asked her.

"Watch it," she said, smirking at him. "Think we should get ready and go?"

"Probably….. Or we could just stay in bed together all day," he said, smiling at her.

"Red light, Commander," she said, returning his smile. "You want the shower first?"

"Sure," he said, hopping off the bed and into the bathroom. "Be right back."

Harm emerged from the bathroom 20 minutes later, clean, but clad only in a towel.

Mac looked up from where she was sitting. "Harm!" she commented.

"Sorry, forgot my clothes in the… uh… other room," he mumbled, turning slightly red and walking quickly into the front room of the suite.

Mac smirked. "Bathroom free?" she called in to him.

"Yeah!" he yelled back. "I'm just going to get dressed and call Mattie."

"Yep," she replied, grabbing some clothes and making her way to the bathroom.

After dressing, Harm pulled out his cell phone and dialed Mattie's number.

"Hello?" her voice came over the receiver.

"Hey, it's me," he replied, taking a seat on the couch.

"Hey! How are you doing? How's Mac?"

"We're fine. I'm going to stay with Mac until she gets everything in order. We'll probably be back tomorrow night sometime. Will you be alright until then?"

"Oh, yeah, I'll be fine. Jen and I have a great weekend planned!"

"Good," Harm said as he heard the shower stop running. "Listen, I've got to go. We have a lot to get done today."

"Okay. Tell Mac I'm sorry about her mom…. And Harm?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I love you."

"I… I love you too, Mattie."  
"Bye!"

"Bye." He slowly pushed the 'end' button on his phone.

"HARM!" Mac yelled from the bathroom, interrupting his thoughts.

"What!?" he yelled back.

"Can you come here for a minute?……. Please?"

"Yeah," he said, quickly making his way to the bathroom. When he reached the door he tapped lightly on the frame. "What do you need?"

"Help," she replied. "You can come in."

He slowly pushed the door open only to see Mac, half clothed in one sock, jeans and some kind of lacy tank top, standing next to the sink.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"Don't laugh…. But my hand is stuck."

"Stuck?"  
She gestured toward her right hand which was stuck in the crack where the shower stall met the sink.

Harm stepped closer to her, studying her situation. "How on earth?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I got a little wobbly after I got dressed and I went to steady myself and stuck my hand right down there." She pulled hard, trying to free herself. "It's really stuck, Harm."

He shook his head and reached for her arm with one hand and held onto her waist with the other. "Brace yourself, I'm going to try to do this fast, alright?"  
"Um, huh," Mac mumbled.

"Okay, one," he began to wiggle her hand. "Two, three!" He pulled hard and fast. Her hand flew free, but with such a force that threw them both off balance. They flew back, landing against the far wall: Mac in Harm's lap.

"You okay?" Harm asked. "Your hand still attached?"

Mac laughed aloud. "Yeah, it's still here," she replied, holding up her hand. "A bit numb though."

Harm laughed, then stopped and cleared his throat, suddenly realizing the position they were in. Mac tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, not sure of what to do. She knew she should get out of Harm's lap, but for some reason, her body wouldn't move.

Finally, Harm spoke. "Well, now that we've had our excitement for the day, shall we get on with our duties?"

Mac nodded and cleared her throat, finally finding the strength to climb out of his lap. "Yes."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Mac stared out the car window as big, fat raindrops hit the glass.

"Hey, you awake?" Harm asked as he drove the rental car down the highway.

"Huh?" Mac said, turning to look at him.

"Never mind…. You okay?"

"Yeah," she sighed, leaning her head back against the seat. "Just thinking."

"About what?" Harm asked, turning to look at her as he stopped at a red light.

"Stuff," Mac replied, then turned her head away from him.

"Care to elaborate?" he snorted.

"Not really."

Harm sighed as the light turned green and he quickly proceeded through the intersection. "Mac, I would like it if you were open with me all the time, too," he said finally.

"It looks like we both have some issues to deal with," she replied.

Harm nodded his head in agreement. "Mac, I want you to know I," he began, as he looked over at her.

"HARM!" Mac yelled as a car pulled in front of them, horn blaring. "Maybe you should keep your eyes on the road," she added, taking a deep breath.

"Maybe you're right," he replied quietly, easing his foot off the accelerator. They drove the rest of the way to the hospital in silence.

"Alright," Harm said as he put the car in gear and removed the keys from the ignition. "You ready to do this?"  
"Yeah, I just want to get it over with," Mac said. "You don't have to come in with me," she added, looking over at him.

"Yes, I do," he replied, opening his car door.

"How did I know you were going to say that," she mumbled, stepping out of the car and into the pouring rain.

"Nice weather!" Harm shouted as they ran through the parking lot, water pouring down on them.

"Just great," she answered as they reached the door, completely soaked. Harm swung the door open, pushed Mac inside, then stepped in himself. Mac shivered as she approached the desk, trying to smooth down her wet hair with her hand.

"Burr," she commented to Harm as he walked us beside her.

He nodded in agreement, placing an arm around her shoulders.

"Sarah MacKenzie," she said to the nurse.

"Ah, yes," the nurse replied. "Thank you for coming back today…. These are the papers…." she said, handing Mac a clipboard with a stack of papers on it. "And I need to know where you want the body sent," she added looking up at Mac, waiting for an answer.

"D.C." Mac stated.

"Washington D.C.?"

Mac nodded. "Yes."

"Alright. Do you have the name of a funeral home there?" she asked, turning her attention to her computer.

"No, I hadn't really thought that far yet…." Mac replied.

"That's alright," the nurse said, entering something into the computer. "Here's one we have in the computer….. It's right outside D.C., near Bethesda. Will that do?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'll print out a copy for you," the nurse said, typing something else on her keyboard. "Now, if you will please complete those papers…… I'll get you both some towels, too," she added, noticing the water dripping off Harm and Mac and onto the floor.

"Thank you." Mac smiled at the nurse, expressing her gratitude, then turned and looked around the lobby. "Where can we sit?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the woman said as she got up from the desk. "Follow me please, we have a nice quiet room…."  
Mac turned and followed the nurse down the hallway, Harm two steps behind her.

Mac hugged the towel she had around her arms and shivered in her chair. She released her grip on the pen she had been holding and massaged her cold fingers. Her clothes were still wet and the air conditioning in the building was creating a draft.

"Mac, you're freezing," Harm said, walking over to her.

"I'm f…fine," she said, teeth chattering.

"Right," Harm mumbled as he sat down next to her and wrapped his arm tightly around her back.

"Umm," she sighed, snuggling closer to him.

"Better?"  
"Much." She sat studying one of the papers in front of her, then picked up her pen and began to write. "You want me to fill out some?" Harm asked.

"If you can…." she said, fingering through the pages. "Here, try this one…. It's not too detailed."  
He nodded and took the paper from her, reading through its contents.

"Uh!" Mac groaned as she picked up another page. "I can't do this!"

"Yes you can," Harm said, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. "You're strong."

Mac gave him a puzzled look, then let out a small laugh. "That's not what I meant," she said, looking up at him, shaking her head. "I don't have an answer to half of these questions!" she added, picking up the paper and shaking it lightly.

"Oh," Harm replied. "What are you having trouble with?"  
"Everything," she mumbled, then began to read off questions from the page she was holding. "Regular doctor, place of residence, phone number…. PHONE NUMBER, Harm! I don't even know my own mother's phone number!" she cried.

Harm pulled her into a hug. "Don't worry about it…. I'm sure the hospital has most of those answers in their records."

"That's not the point, Harm! I'm such an awful person…. An awful daughter! I should have contacted her. I had the chance to get to know her after my dad died… and I didn't…. and," she choked back a sob. "And…. Dammit, now it's too late!"

"It's okay," Harm whispered into her hair, trying to calm her down.

"I'm awful," she mumbled.

"That is NOT true," he said, pulling her away to look into her eyes. "You care so much about everyone you know and you're the best friend I could ever hope for," he added as he wiped a tear from her cheek.

She leaned into his hand. "I don't deserve you, Harmon Rabb," she said quietly.

"No, I don't deserve you," Harm responded, leaning closer to her face. Their lips were centimeters apart, and Mac could feel Harm's warm breath on her face. She licked her lips in anticipation and ever so slowly felt Harm's lips begin to push against hers. Suddenly, the door opened.

"Hum um," the nurse sounded, clearing her throat as she entered the room.

Harm and Mac quickly pulled away from each other.

"Excuse me. I just thought you could use some coffee," The nurse set two styrophome cups on the table. "I'll let you get back to what you were…. Umm…. Working on," she said, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind her.

"Thanks for the coffee!" Mac called after her before looking back over at Harm.

They stared at each other for a moment. Harm slowly reached up and brushed his thumb across Mac's lip. He sighed deeply. "I guess we should finish this… umm…. Stuff," he said, looking down at the papers on the desk.

Mac took a deep breath, her eyebrows raised and her lips still tingling from Harm's touch. "Good idea."

1302

ST. VINCENT'S HOSPITAL

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA

Harm stepped out of the men's rest room and looked around the hallway for Mac. Deciding she was still in the ladies room, he leaned against the wall. Whistling quietly to himself, he waited. "Where is she?" he thought. As he glanced down at his watch, a nurse stepped out of the rest room.

"Excuse me, Ma'am," he said, catching the woman's attention. "Was there anyone else in there?"

"No, sir," she replied.

"Thanks." He turned and walked away. "Where do I look?" he thought, scanning the various doors that lined the wide hallway. He stopped in front of a large wooden door that was slightly ajar. He quietly pulled the door open the rest of the way and stepped into the dimly lit room. When his eyes finally adjusted to the lighting, he saw a large wooden cross handing from the back wall. "A chapel," he thought. He turned to leave, but stopped when he spotted Mac, on her knees, in the second row of pews.

Harm's eyes filled with tears as he watched her. She had her hands folded and was looking up at the cross. He saw her mouth silent words, then rest her head on top of her hands.

Quietly, Harm walked up and knelt beside her. She raised her head to look at him as he folded his hands and closed his eyes. She brushed a tear from her cheek and reached over to put her hands on top of his. He grasped her fingers with his and they sat together in silent prayer.

2025 EST

MARRIOTT HOTEL

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA

"Thanks for dinner, Harm," Mac said as they walked into the hotel room.

"Sure," he replied, locking the door behind him. "It's been a long time since I bought you dinner." He offered a small version of one of his 'flyboy' grins. "Well, I guess I should see about getting me a room."

Mac walked over to an end table and set down her purse. "Would you stay with me?" she asked, quietly, not daring to look him in the eyes.

Harm looked across the room at her. "Umm, sure." He cleared his throat. "I'll sleep on the couch."  
"No, Harm. You have the bed, I insist," she looked up at him, finally. "After all, I am the one making you stay with me."

"No, way, Mac. You need the rest more than I do." He folded his arms across his chest.

She opened her mouth to protest, but instead let out a large yawn. "Fine. I'm too tired to argue tonight," she said, heading for the bedroom. "I'll get you a blanket and a pillow."

2345 EST

Harm rolled over on the sofa and pulled the blanket around his shoulders. He was beginning to feel very stiff. He had just closed his eyes as a piercing scream sounded through the room. "Mac!" he thought, jumping from the sofa and bolting into the other room.

"Mac!" he called, standing over her. Her head was shaking back and forth on the pillow and she was yelling at the top of her lungs in both English and Farsi. "Mac!" Harm called again, this time kneeling on the bed and stroking her cheek with his hand. "Mac, wake up!"

Suddenly, she sat straight up in bed, breathing hard and still yelling. She reached out and pulled Harm towards her, burying her face in his chest.

"Shh," he soothed, holding her close.

"God, make it stop!" she screamed.

It dawned on Harm that she was still between sleep and alertness. Pulling her back a bit, he yelled again, shaking her lightly. "Wake up, Sarah! It's okay! I'm here… wake up!"

"Harm!" she called out as her eyes flew open. "God, don't leave me, Harm!"

"Shh, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, you're safe, he said, holding her close once again.

Mac tightened her grip on his shirt, but her breathing slowed a bit.

"Nightmare?" he asked, rocking her back and forth.

She nodded into his chest. "I've had it before," she mumbled, finally. "Several times."

"What is it? Sometimes if you talk about it, it goes away."

"Not this one." Mac took a deep breath, then complied. "I'm standing on a cliff, looking over. Then all the sudden I feel someone push me over the edge. I fall for a long time before I see Sadik's face. It's like I'm falling into his head…. Then I hit the ground. As I lie there, I look over and I see you lying next to me… and…. And you're covered in blood." She paused, gripping Harm tighter. "Half your face is gone…. There's so much blood….." a sob escaped her lips.

"Shh," Harm whispered, pulling her into his lap.

"Oh, Harm, I don't want you to die too…. I couldn't go on!" she cried.

"Nothing's going to happen to me, Mac."

"You don't know that," she whispered.

"I won't leave you Mac, I promise."

An hour passed before either of them moved. "Mac?" Harm whispered.

When she didn't answer, he realized she had fallen back to sleep. Slowly, he lifted her off his lap, then stretched his aching legs.

At the loss of contact, Mac woke slightly and opened her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he answered, scooting her under the covers. "Go back to sleep."

"Don't leave." She grabbed his hand.

"Alright. Just let me get my pillow," he added and she released his hand. He returned a moment later, laid down next to Mac and covered himself up with his blanket. She snuggled up next to him and closed her eyes.

0647 EST

MARIOTT HOTEL

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA

Mac awoke to the sound of raindrops hitting the window. She yawned and looked around the room, then at Harm. His head was tilted back, one hand resting on his cheek and the other hand resting on her waist. She stroked his cheek gently before slowly picking up his wrist, looking at his watch. "6:47." She sighed, then wiggled out of bed, trying not to wake Harm.

Mac walked out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, clean and dressed. She dug around in her suitcase until her hand hit her cell phone. "Airport, please," she said quietly, walking to the other room.

"Okay, thank you." Mac snapped her phone shut a few minutes later. She smiled, leaning her head against the doorway, watching Harm sleep. He had rolled over while she was in the shower, and his head was covered with the blanket. She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the blanket away from his head. "Harm," she said softly. "Time to wake up."

He stirred then turned and blinked at her. "What time is it?"

"07:30."

Harm groaned then closed his eyes.

"I'd let you sleep longer, but our flight leaves in an hour."

"Our what?" he asked, quickly sitting up.

"Our flight," she repeated, louder this time, letting her fingers wander to play with a stray strand of his hair. "I just called the airport and the only flight back to DC today leaves at 08:30."

Harm reached up, grabbing Mac's hand (which was still playing with his hair). "About yesterday, Mac."

Mac pulled her hand away. "You don't have to Harm…" she said, her body stiffened as she rose from the bed.

Harm jumped up and grabbed her by the shoulders. "That's not what I meant," he said quietly, wrapping his arms around her and holding on tight. The clock on the nightstand caught his eye… it was almost 0800. "But we don't have time for this now," he whispered into her hair, placing a kiss on top of her head. "I'm gonna shower," he added, releasing her.

She turned to look at his retreating form, a small smile spreading across her lips.


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is totally new- it was not at all in the old story. It changes a lot of things so from here on out the story line will be significantly different. More HM romance this time through. Read and review!

Chapter 5

Harm and Mac ran through the airport, trying desperately not to miss their flight. Turning a corner, they suddenly found themselves in a sea of people.

"Great," Harm muttered. Together they proceeded through the crowd trying not to lose each other along the way. A plane had just landed and passengers and their family members crowded the hall. "I think we're almost there," Harm said, glancing back towards Mac, only to find that she wasn't there. "Mac!" he yelled into the crowd.

Faintly he heard Mac calling his name. He stopped where he was and strained to look over the people's heads. Finally, he spotted her. She was caught between a family of Indians and a rather seedy looking bunch of men in leather vests. "Harm!" she yelled again, seeing him turn around and force his way through the 'sea' towards her.

"No tarrying, Colonel," he said, finally reaching her and, taking her hand in his, led them through the crowd.

"Harm, we've got to hurry!" Mac said as the hall finally began to clear.

"I know," he replied and began to run to the gate. "WAIT!" he yelled as he saw out the window a plane beginning to taxi.

"Is that flight ATA42?" he asked the stewardess as he approached the desk.

She looked up at him and gave an apologetic smile. "Yes it is sir, I'm sorry."

Harm sighed and set his bag down.

Mac walked up behind him. "Too late?" she questioned.

He nodded.

She rubbed her face with her hand. "Could anything else go wrong this weekend?"

"Well, I suppose we're stuck here till tomorrow."

"We can't be!" Mac said loudly. "I planned the funeral for tomorrow. 1100!"

Harm raised his eyebrows.

Mac sighed and muttered a curse under her breath.

"Why the hell did you plan the funeral so soon?" Harm questioned.

She sighed again. "It was the only day the mortuary and the minister were available."

Harm ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Well," he said, picking up his bag again. "Let's go find a rental car."

1457 EST

SOMEWHERE IN PA

Mac stirred in the passenger seat as the car hit a bump. Miles of road and trees were whizzing past outside the car. "Where are we?" she asked, yawning.

"Pennsylvania." Harm replied, glancing at his watch. "About four more hours to go."

Mac nodded and straightened her shirt. "You want me to drive for a while?"

Harm leaned back farther in his seat. "Nah, if you don't mind…. I'm really fine to go for a while more."

She nodded again. "Harm, can I ask you something?" Mac asked several moments later.

He nodded.

"What were you going to say about yesterday?" She bit her lower lip anxiously. She had been able to keep herself from asking him this question through nearly three states and couldn't stand it any longer.

Harm smiled nervously, then cleared his throat. "Well, honestly, I was going to apologize for that ….. ahem….. moment yesterday at the hospital. I shouldn't have… we shouldn't have…" he was stumbling. "Aw, hell, Mac. What am I saying?" he looked over at her, keeping both hands on the wheel. "I'm glad it happened. It probably should have happened a long time ago and I wish we wouldn't have been in a hospital so it could have gone farther." He stared at her for a second longer before turning his attention back to the road.

Mac sat in her seat completely blown away. Was this Harmon Rabb that had just said these things to her?

After what seemed like an eternity, Harm heard Mac whisper. "Me too."

She looked over at him, eyes filled with both desire and unshed tears.

"Oh Mac," Harm said, scooting over closer to her and pressing his lips to hers.

Mac, also caught up in the moment, moved her body closer and closer to Harm's, until her seatbelt yanked at her waist and she realized they were still in a moving vehicle. "Harm!" she yelled, her voice muffled by his lips.

Quickly, he pulled back and turned the steering wheel so they were back in the correct lane. He blew out a deep breath as Mac adjusted herself back into her seat. "Mac, I think we'd better table this till we get home." He looked over at her and grinned. "I don't think it's safe to hold conversations of this kind while driving."

Mac laughed nervously. "Good idea," she replied confidently, although wondering whether she could keep her hands off of Harm for four more hours.

After an hour of Harm glancing at her every two minutes, Mac decided the best way to calm the situation was to go back to sleep, or at least try to.

1921 EST

OUTSIDE MAC'S APARTMENT

GEORGETOWN

"Mac….. Maaaccc." Harm brushed his finger across her cheek, but she wouldn't wake up. He took a deep breath and smiled. She had been in a deep sleep since their last rest stop about two hours ago.

After taking her bag up to her apartment, Harm returned to the car to retrieve Mac. He quietly opened the passenger side door and unlocked her seatbelt. Grasping her firmly about the waist, he slowly pulled her out of the car seat and gathered her in his arms.

Mac stirred and opened her eyes halfway. "Wwwhat…?" she began.

"Shhh," Harm whispered. "It's okay."

Mac realized that he was carrying her and closed her eyes and laid her head back on his shoulder. "Are we home?"  
Harm nodded as he opened the door for the elevator. "Almost," he replied. Slowly the door slid open on the second floor. "Where's your key?" he asked. She motioned for him to put her down.

Fumbling around in her purse, Mac finally found her clump of keys and thrust the appropriate one into the lock. The door swung open and Harm followed her into the apartment, carrying her bag.

Mac rubbed the fog from her eyes. "You must be exhausted," she stated, rubbing Harm's forearm softly.

He nodded and yawned suddenly.

"Come on," Mac said quietly, putting her arm around his waist and leading him into her bedroom. "There's an extra toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet if you don't wanna bring your suitcase up," she said, motioning to the open bathroom door. "I'll be right back."

Harm smiled sleepily and yawned again before pulling off his shoes and making his way to the bathroom.

Mac returned to the bedroom a while later to find Harm sprawled out on her bed, his shoes and NAVY sweatshirt lying on the floor. She smiled and set down the cup of tea she was carrying. After throwing on some pajamas and brushing her teeth, she returned to bed, quietly sipping on her tea. Since she had forced herself to sleep in the car, she now felt pretty awake. She sighed and crawled under the covers, pulling the spread up over Harm as she did so.

After she had finished her tea, sleep still was not coming, so she flipped off the light and scooted closer to Harm. In his slumber, he sensed her movement and rolled over to face her.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"Hey yourself," Mac replied. She reached up to play with his hair, then rested her hand on his cheek. "Sorry, go back to sleep."

"Mmmm," Harm murmered, closing his eyes, but wrapping his arms tightly around Mac.

Just as he began to fall asleep, Mac leaned up and planted a kiss on his closed lips. "G'night Sailor," she whispered.

0715 EST

MAC'S APARTMENT  
GEORGETOWN

The next morning Mac awoke to the smell of freshly brewing coffee. She sat up in bed and threw the covers off her. "Harm?" she called. Following her nose to the kitchen, she found a fresh pot of coffee sitting on the counter for her. She took a deep breath. No Harm.

As she reached into the fridge for the cream, a paper taped on the fridge door caught her eye. She slammed the door shut and plucked the note from its place.

Mac-

Ran to my place to change into my suit. Be back soon. XOX -H

She smiled. He would be back soon. 'Good,' she thought and proceeded to the shower.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey all: sorry for the big, huge, GI-NORMOUS delay in posting. I didn't proof read this for grammar and such so I could get it posted as soon as I finished… so I apologize for any errors. Hope you like it! I will try and make the next post sooner!

Chapter 6

0740 EST

MAC'S APARTMENT

GEORGETOWN

The hot water poured over Mac as the cool rain pounded outside on the windows of the apartment. Just as she finished rinsing the shampoo out of her hair, she heard a bang in her bedroom. She quickly shut off the water and dried herself off, wrapping the towel around her. She quietly tiptoed to the bathroom door and swung it open. She smiled. Harm was bending over her bed pulling up the bedspread with one hand, the other hand pressed against his head.

"Jeez, Harm, you scared me."

He turned as she spoke, offering a lopsided smile. "Sorry."

"What was that bang?"

"My head making contact with the nightstand. Bent down to get a pillow and smacked my head on the way back up."

She laughed.

"It hurt like hell Mac."

"I'm sorry," she cooed, still smiling and sauntered over to him and kissed his forehead.

Harm reached down and captured her lips with his. Mac let out a quiet moan and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down closer. He ran his fingers along the crease of the towel wrapped around Mac and he started pulling her down toward the bed. She pulled at his tie, trying to release it as she began unbuttoning his blue dress shirt. "Oh, Sarah," Harm gasped as she fumbled with the clasp of his belt, running his lips along her collarbone.

Just then someone knocked on the door. Harm let a grunt, the sound muffled by Mac's lips. "Who the hell is that?" he asked, still kissing her neck.

Mac sighed. "I… dunno. Should…. probably get it though…." She said, not really trying to get Harm off of her. Another knock at the door, this time louder.

A smile spread across Harm's lips. "It would figure," he grumbled as he raised himself off the bed and re- buckled his belt.

Mac stood up as well, pulling the towel tighter around her. "Uhhh," she said, looking down at her 'attire'.

Harm smirked and grabbed her once more, planting a hard and sloppy kiss on her lips. "I'll get it," he said. "You'd better get dressed." He chuckled to himself as he made his way to the front door of Mac's apartment.

"Rabb?" Admiral Chegwidden stood on the other side of the door.

"Sir!"

The Admiral looked down at Harm's half unbuttoned shirt and loose tie. He raised his eyebrows, trying to plaster a stern expression on his face.

Harm cleared his throat. "I was just… uh, here to go with Mac… uh the Colonel… to the funeral." He tightened the knot on his tie.

A.J. offered a slight smile. "Can I come in?" he asked holding up a large floral arrangement.

"Uh, sure Admiral."

"Harm, who was it?" Mac called from the bedroom as the Admiral closed the door. She emerged clad in a knee length black dress, stocking feet, fastening her earrings. "Admiral!?"

A.J. looked from Mac to Harm then back to Mac. He held up the flowers. "I wanted to drop these by and offer my condolences. I have to be in court at the time of the funeral."

Mac smiled and took the flowers from him. "Thank you, sir. I really appreciate it. She proceeded to the kitchen to get some water for the flowers. "I'm not really sure how many people will be there besides Harm and myself… your support is greatly appreciated."

A.J. smiled. "Understood. Well, I need to get to the office." He placed his cover back on his head. "Colonel. Commander, I'll see you in the office next week." He cleared his throat. "Enjoy the time off."

Harm's face turned red and he grinned. "I will sir, thank you."

"Thank you, sir!" Mac called as A.J. made his way out the door. "That was nice of him to drop by," she said to Harm.

"Yeah it was. I wish I would've had my shirt buttoned." He paused then laughed. "You should've seen the look on his face."

Mac smirked. "You took the week off?"

Harm rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, thought you might like some company this week while you're off." He looked up at her. "If you want some company….?"

"Only if it's you, flyboy." Mac grabbed Harm by the shoulders and pulled his lips onto hers.

Harm kissed her back with just as much passion. "I'm sorry Mac…." He breathed into her ear. "But we're gonna have to…." He bit her ear lobe. "Wait on this." He returned to her mouth and kissed her gently.

She nodded as he pulled back. "Yeah, I guess we have to get going."

He nodded and hugged her tightly. "Go finish dressing. Oh and wear a jacket… it looks like it's going to rain," he added smacking her six.

* * *

Mac sighed as she climbed out of the car. Harm was right, it was beginning to rain… again. She heard Harm's voice behind her as he spoke quietly to Mattie. The girl had wished to come to the funeral to support Mac and Harm had willingly obliged her request. Mac started across the hill to the grave site. There was a small tent that had been set up over the casket. A preacher stood next to the casket surrounded by a small gathering of people. As he saw Mac approaching, he smiled.

"Reverend Hart," he said, extending his hand to Mac.

"Sarah MacKenzie."

"Oh, yes, we spoke on the phone." He glanced over her shoulder.

Mac turned to see Harm standing behind her; Mattie was standing feet away with the other people. "This is my uh…. Harmon Rabb." She said, and Harm shook the Reverend's hand.

"Thank you for performing the service, Reverend," Harm said.

The Reverend offered a small smile. "When would you like me to begin the service?"

Mac looked around before answering. "Anytime, Reverend."

"Very well."

She followed Harm back to where Mattie was standing. The few other people there gathered a little closer around the casket, and under the tent, as the rain began to fall harder.

"We have gathered here today to remember the life of Deanna MacKenzie," the Reverend began.

As he was speaking, Mac looked around at the circle of people who had come. She wondered what relationship they had had with her mother. 'Most of them look like they had too little sleep.' She thought. The sound of a car door slamming interrupted her thoughts and she lifted her head to see Bud and Harriett Roberts walking across the hill, a large black umbrella sheltering them. They joined the small group just as the Reverend began a prayer.

"Father, we thank you for Deanna and the life she led. We thank you that she is now at peace and no longer in pain. We ask that you comfort her family in their time of grief. Amen."

Mumbles of 'amen' echoed through the group as the prayer ended. The Reverend handed Mac a rose and gestured for her to place it on the casket. As she did so, he opened his Bible and began reading Psalm 23. "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul."

Mac felt Harm's hand on her waist as he bent over to place a rose on the casket as well. She grasped his hand and they walked back to their spot as some others began to file past the casket, leaving flowers as they did so. Mattie patted Mac on the arm as she stood next to her.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me…." The Reverend continued.

Tears formed in Mac's eyes. Harm looked down at her then wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She gratefully accepted his comfort and leaned into his embrace.

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." The Reverend closed his Bible. Two men came forward from the group and stood in front of the casket. Reverend Hart stooped down, picked up a handful of dirt, and slowly let it fall from his hand onto the casket. "Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust."

As the two men lowered the casket into the ground, Mac began to sob quietly. "Goodbye, Mom," she whispered. Harm began drawing small circles on Mac's waist with his thumb and Mac reached across and grasped his arm, squeezing tightly. Mattie reached over and put her hand on Mac's back and leaned against her shoulder.

As the tears were beginning to clear, Harriet and Bud walked over, Harriet grabbing Mac and hugging her tightly. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Mac offered a smile. "Thank you for coming guys," she said as she reached out and gave Bud a hug as well.

"You're welcome ma'am."

"We'll see you at JAG next week. Call us if you need anything, okay?" added Harriet.

Mac nodded. "Thanks."

With a last quick hug, Harriet and Bud made their way back down the hill. The Reverend came forward next and extended his hand once again. "If you'll excuse me, I must get going," he said. "I have a wedding ceremony to perform in an hour."

Mac nodded. "Thank you."

"I truly am sorry for your loss."

"Are you ready to go?" Harm asked.

Mac nodded and wrapped her arm around Mattie's waist as Mattie did the same. "Yeah, let's go home," she said.

Mac started to turn, but stopped when she realized there was one person still at the gravesite. The woman had been watching Mac and Mattie. As Mac studied the woman more closely, her eyes widened. The woman looked almost identical to herself. The stranger's eyes met hers for a moment before she turned and began to walk quickly down the hill.

"Wait!" Mac called after her.

The woman whirled around quickly, then turned once again and began to run toward her car. Mac pulled away from Mattie and ran after the stranger, leaving her high heels in the grass behind her. She heard harm call her name, but she didn't stop. She nearly fell several times in the wet grass, but kept on until she caught up with the woman near the bottom of the hill. She grabbed her shoulder and spun her around to look at her face again.

As she did so, Mac realized that the stranger was just a girl in her early twenties. Tears streaks stained her face and her long, dark hair blew in the wind as the two stared at each other.

Mac finally found her voice. "Who are you?" she asked, not releasing her hold on the girl's arm. "My name is Samantha Parker," she said. "And you're Sarah MacKenzie," she added quietly, looking into Mac's eyes.

Mac gave her a puzzled look. "How do you know who I am?"

"My mother told me about you. She wanted me to know who my sister was."


End file.
